There are a lot of things you should learn when you are a mom. But the most important thing, I think you should learn is a ‘I fycking don’t give a damn about what you think’ (IFDGADAWYT) attitude. It will go a long way in making your life easier. If you already have one, then it’s a breeze. But if you don’t – I sincerely ask you to work on getting one the day you find out you are pregnant. Really. When you are about to become a parent, you can officially no longer afford to please too many people. Just try to please yourself and your baby first. There’ll be enough mess at home that you’ll have to deal with every 5 minutes. Save your energy. Your baby is going to throw up on you only after you get dressed, your handbag is going to have diapers and wipes instead of lipsticks and foundations. You can never get your hair well done and even if you do, it won’t last more than 6 mins. You will consider being dressed up as when u change from your pajamas to yoga pants. Until your kids grow past the toddler stage, I think you are going to be stressed whenever you go out. Save your energy. You’ll have to deal with the kids and some sissy strangers who give those judgemental look when you child cries out loud or rolls on the floor demanding something in a store. Only moms know that it’s a tantrum. So sometimes you have to be ready say IFDGADAWYT to the judgemental and nosy (J &N) strangers
I suspect that as long as we are parents, we have to deal with those J & N strangers. Here are some situations where you can start using that liberating attitude! Sometimes I’ve played the IFDGADAWYT and sometimes I just stay stressed & embarrassed and wished that I’d given that attitude.
Here are some situations where you should say IFDGADAWYT :
- J & Ns who give you a stinky look on seeing your child rolling on the floor crying at a store. It’s not like you enjoy seeing them on the floor nor you’ve not tried to disciple them. Kids are kids.
- People who give you ABSOLUTELY uncalled for advice. Especially some relatives whom you’ve not met in ages. And no even if you’ve met them recently, pls tell them – You don’t need their tales and advice. And that if you want, YOU WILL ASK. I’ve experienced this and this was my most pissing off situation. How to sleep during pregnancy, what to eat when breastfeeding, how to nurse your LO, how to bathe your LO. Argh. No thank you!
- People in parks, beaches and malls that look at you non-stop when you are nursing in public. I don’t care if they are embarrassed or excited. I actually don’t even care now. If I have to nurse I will sit on the park bench, take out my nursing cover and simply feed.
- Co-passengers on a plane. I’m sorry, but most of the times you just have to say that to them. It’s not like you enjoy their squealing, puking, pushing and pooping. The moms dread the plane rides as much as the co-passengers. Actually, more. They not only have to deal with the tantrums but also have to handle some mean passengers
- Restaurant chaos – When you take your kids to a restaurant they are going to be noisy. They are going to be hyper. And there are going to be many unsuccessful trips before they become trained. Until then I cannot sit at home and wait and neither can I leave my kids at home each time. You can either humour me, empathize with me or stay pissed. But I AM going to bring my child out so lock yourself up or learn to deal with it.
- Ok, I know I’ve put on a lot of weight when I was pregnant and I haven’t shed them yet. But that’s my problem and I don’t know who asked you for those weight loss tips, dear lady-behind-me-in-a-queue. Do you want to hear tips on how to STFU ?
To a mom these only sound fair to ask, but as a stranger it can be quite annoying. But you know what, as a mom, IFDGADAWYT. I’m trying my best to give myself, my child and you a peaceful time. But in the end, that is still a child and nothing goes as per plan or training. You can humour me, empathize with me or stay pissed. Some days you will be the mom, some days you will be the stranger. Some days you will be the statue, some days you will be the pigeon – but SHIT just happens! So stay strong and stay calm. Sometimes we have to choose between being patient and being happy. I chose being Happy.
On that liberating note, Happy Parenting!